Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger Mania

Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger Mania

By: Arlene Sonya Weiss

Mergers have taken over the world. My very first bank ? Bell Federal - has long merged with LaSalle Bank, and now if I want to talk to someone about my mortgage, I have to call a place I never even heard of before ? Troy, Michigan! Here in Chicago, Marshall Field?s has been swallowed up lock, stock and barrel by MACY?S ? almost bringing about second Revolutionary War.

Now, just think about what would happen if our beloved Mother Goose friends were also to be bitten by the Deadly Merger Bug. Let?s start off with pretty Little Bo Peep. The same day that she found her sheep, she bumped into her old friend, Goldilocks, and they immediately went to the home of The Three Bears and did some negotiating ? and they are now known as the jazz group, Peep, Goldi and the Bears. Now look at poor lean Jack Spratt. He and his hearty wife stopped to chat with Simple Simon as he was going to the Fair. Deciding to merge together, they made lots of dough selling their wares. And what about Old Mother Hubbard whose cupboard was always bare? She moved in with Little Jack Horner while he was relishing his Christmas pie, and they became known as H&H, Horner and Hubbard, and their business grew and grew and she no longer had any worries about feeding Fido. The Famous Three Blind Mice moved in to the cupboard, and made a nice comfortable home for themselves, but they continued to squeal an awful lot.

Little Boy Blue blew his horn one day and was overjoyed to discover that his music had led him to find that frolicsome twosome, Jack and Jill; the poor kids got lost as they trudged up that hill. They got together and created Jack and Jill?s Horn of Plenty English Tea Shoppe. One day the Cat and his Fiddle came over to cheer up Little Miss Muffet, who had fallen off her tuffet and then all got together as they went over to say hello to Old King Cole, who called on his Fiddlers Three and they incorporated themselves as Music a la Mode and played at the king?s fabulous birthday party. After quite a bit of trouble, Humpty Dumpty got himself together and limped over for needed rehab to the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe. She worked hard to get Humpty completely back to his old self, and he reciprocated by starting up Humpty?s Bedie-By Service, 24-hour care for tough toddlers.

Pumpkin Pies International was started by Peter the Pumpkin Eater and Georgie Porgie but Georgie had to promise not to kiss the girls and make them cry. Now they have branches in Paris, Rome and London. Of course, in Paris he is allowed to kiss the girls! One, Two Three Little Indians got together with the Blackhawks and created a gorgeous casino — named the Call of the. ? HEY ? STOP THE PRESSES, here?s another merger ? AT&T is back in the limelight with a marriage to the SBC phone company. Got to hand it to AT&T ? it?s back in the saddle again.

Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger Mania
Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger ManiaBy: Arlene Sonya Weiss Mergers have taken over the world. My very first bank ? Bell Federal - has long mer...

Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger Mania
Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger ManiaBy: Arlene Sonya Weiss Mergers have taken over the world. My very first bank ? Bell Federal - has long mer...

Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger Mania
Kindly Mother Goose Gets Hit by Merger ManiaBy: Arlene Sonya Weiss Mergers have taken over the world. My very first bank ? Bell Federal - has long mer...

Hi! I’m a Happy Axe Murderer!
Hi! I'm a Happy Axe Murderer!By: Denise Tarka The shriek was one of complete, conscious fear. Their parents raced to the room. Matthew stood over his ...

Hi! I’m a Happy Axe Murderer!
Hi! I'm a Happy Axe Murderer!By: Denise Tarka The shriek was one of complete, conscious fear. Their parents raced to the room. Matthew stood over his ...

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The Jobs Of Celebrities Before They Were Famous

The Jobs Of Celebrities Before They Were Famous
By Gail Kenny

Anyone who is becoming disillusioned with their online job search and has found themselves looking enviously onto the effortless lives of celebrities can take comfort in the fact that they haven t always had it this easy. Even the most glamorous celebs have crumpled discarded CVs that they d rather we never see. Fortunately, the internet has made it rather easy to research celebrities embarrassing occupations before they were famous…

Without further ado, here s a list of 10 celebrities jobs from before they were famous:

Sir Bob Geldof - Pea Canner

The outspoken former frontman of the Boomtown Rats and face of the Make Poverty History movement took on all kinds of dead-end jobs before finding his calling in music. He worked as a road navvy, a hot dog vendor, a slaughterman and finally an exciting career in pea canning before getting a job as a music journalist in Canada.

Sylvester Stallone - Porn Star

Stallone s tough reputation may have begun in one of his first pre-celebrity jobs - a lion cage cleaner! Years later, after dropping out of Miami University, Stallone pursued his acting dreams, but the Rocky star had a long way to go before he was famous and his place in Hollywood history - one of his first films was called Party at Kitty and Stud s , which is exactly as high brow as it sounds. This silver screen classic was a hardcore pornographic film, which has since been repackaged on the back of Stallone s success as a softcore release entitled Italian Stallion - a reference to Rocky Balboa s nickname.

Rod Stewart - The Grave Digger

After trying out for a football career with Scottish giants Celtic and London minnows Brentford, a young Rod Stewart decided the glamorous career of a footballer wasn t for him and opted for the not-so-glamorous career as a grave digger. He wasn t there for too long though, before pursuing a career in music. The Maggie May songwriter took up street singing, travelling around Europe… indeed he was actually deported from Spain for vagrancy for his art!

Madonna - Dunkin Donuts Worker

Madonna is now one of the best selling female music artists of all time, but somehow this will have seemed an unlikely scenario for her 20 year old self upon arriving in New York with just $35 to her name. Over the course of these tough months before she became famous, the Like a Prayer singer made ends meet by taking on a range of low paying jobs including a stint serving customers at Dunkin Donuts . An exhibitionist even in those days, she also took on some nude modelling work to supplement the limited fast-food income before finding her celebrity job calling…

Michael Dell - Dishwasher

At the age of 12 the founder of Dell computers, Michael Dell was washing dishes in a Chinese restaurant for $2.30 an hour. With Dell Inc. now worth over $16 billion, I would hope that the CEO is allowing himself a better salary than he earned at the restaurant.

Helen Mirren - Amusement Park Promoter

Long before she was famous and had won her oscar, SAG Awards, BAFTAs, Golden Globes and Emmy Awards, Dame Helen Mirren had the slightly less glamourous role of attracting punters to use the rides at an amusement park in Southend on Sea. It s unclear whether she won as many accolades in this period of her life…

Paul Daniels - Accountant

The magician and entertainer Paul Daniels was in the army, serving in Hong Kong during his national service. On his return he began training as an accountant in the civil service before leaving to run a small mobile grocery business owned by his parents. While performing magic in the evenings, the door to show business was eventually opened to him.

Jack Nicholson - Mailroom Worker

The veteran actor and star of classics like A Few Good Men, The Shining and One Flew Over the Cuckoo s Nest was reportedly discovered working in MGM s mailroom. Before that, the three times Oscar winner had worked in a toy store and as a lifeguard.

Jerry Seinfeld - Lightbulb Retailer

Before he became famous as a comedian and sitcom star, Jerry sold lightbulbs over the phone. After no doubt being on the end of several aggressive customers, Jerry made fun of his former career on his hit sitcom by telling a cold-caller that it was a bad time and asking if he could call them back later when they re at home trying to relax.

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Hopefully that ll give you the impetus to return to your online job search with renewed vigour, afterall sir Bob Geldof wasn t stuck canning peas forever!

Gail Kenny is the managing director of Puregenie, a recruitment agency specialising in online jobs in the travel industry. The site caters exclusively to talented individuals with skills and experience to succeed in the online environment, and businesses looking to increase their online presence. Although the site is mainly travel focussed, it also displays vacancies in the hospitality and leisure industries.

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